Ever have one of those weeks? The kind that makes you ask yourself, “What were we thinking? Were we out of our minds?!” Don’t act like you haven’t thought it. Yes, your children are little priceless bundles of joy, but when you’re fumbling out of bed for the sixth time in one night, for the fifth night in a row...those thoughts tend to cross your mind. When you walk around the house with Windex and paper towel following the ruby red-crayon trail left by your toddler...when your workout routine consists of plunging the toilet AGAIN and scrubbing purple marker off the counters...you contemplate your sanity knowing that you willingly signed up for this.
What’s even crazier is that most of us were overjoyed, thrilled even, at the thought of parenthood, and then it smacked us in the face and left us wondering what the HECK we were thinking. Oh wait- that’s just me? My bad. You can stop reading now. Just kidding.
You see, no one tells you that this is what you signed up for when you are passing around those blobby ultrasound photos. It would be rude to say things like, “Oh, that’s precious. Wait until they poop through four outfits in one day and projectile vomit in your hair as you’re walking out the door. So cute.”
It would be insensitive to go to the baby shower and mention, “Oh- you’re going to breastfeed? Just wait till your milk comes in: you feel like your breasts were run over by a Mack truck, and then you leak like a milk machine for the next six months. Waking up in a puddle of your own milk is spectacular! I loved every minute! “
It would be mean to say, “Awe- he has your nose! It’s so fun the first time they catch a stomach virus and throw up all over the house while trying to get to the toilet! I bet you can hardly wait!”
Or, “Babies do wonders for your marriage! No sleep, sex, or showers for extended periods of time always helps my husband and I grow closer.”
No. We don’t speak of those things.
Everyone fails to mention that you will have moments where you feel like this is too hard, and you will never get a break. That wouldn’t be nice of them, would it? Well, I’m telling you- if you haven’t already, you will, and that’s okay.
Being a parent is the hardest, most amazing, rewarding, deeply gratifying and difficult thing I have ever done in my life. (And I used to teach middle school, so that tells ya something!)
Turning little people into competent, respectful, God-fearing adults is hard work, and while most of the moms I know fully embrace this role, they soon realize that they are not “just a mom.” Somewhere between blobby baby photos and that one year cake smashing, you became a mom. What you probably didn’t think about was that you were still you.
You still need time for yourself. You still need date nights with your husband. You still need to be told you are doing a good job, that you are beautiful, that what you do matters. Being a mom is fulfilling, but it’s not enough. You still have a purpose, and you want to know you’re fulfilling it. You are still the woman you always were; only now, you are a mom too. Some people don’t understand that. They say things like, “But didn’t you want to be a stay at home mom? Why do you need a break?” That’s like saying, “Didn’t you sign up to run that marathon? Why are you sore afterward?” Really, people?
Yes, we wanted to be moms, but wanting doesn’t make it any easier. Wanting it doesn’t mean you don’t want other things too. Wanting to be a mom doesn’t mean you become a selfless superwoman with your baby’s first cry. Don’t be ashamed of that. Be you- all parts of you. Be the “you” who needs a break, and the "you" who can go 24 hours without sleep and still run a meeting. Be the “you” who loves her work, and the “you” who loves her kids. Be the “you” who cries over dog food commercials, and the “you” who is the family’s lynchpin. Be the “you” who asks for help, who relies on friends, and says, “No” because she can’t do it all. Be the “you” who is a good friend, a great sister, and a loving wife. Be the fearfully and wonderfully made woman God created you to be. (Psalm 139:14)
Be that woman because no one else can, and you are not “just a mom.”
What’s even crazier is that most of us were overjoyed, thrilled even, at the thought of parenthood, and then it smacked us in the face and left us wondering what the HECK we were thinking. Oh wait- that’s just me? My bad. You can stop reading now. Just kidding.
You see, no one tells you that this is what you signed up for when you are passing around those blobby ultrasound photos. It would be rude to say things like, “Oh, that’s precious. Wait until they poop through four outfits in one day and projectile vomit in your hair as you’re walking out the door. So cute.”
It would be insensitive to go to the baby shower and mention, “Oh- you’re going to breastfeed? Just wait till your milk comes in: you feel like your breasts were run over by a Mack truck, and then you leak like a milk machine for the next six months. Waking up in a puddle of your own milk is spectacular! I loved every minute! “
It would be mean to say, “Awe- he has your nose! It’s so fun the first time they catch a stomach virus and throw up all over the house while trying to get to the toilet! I bet you can hardly wait!”
Or, “Babies do wonders for your marriage! No sleep, sex, or showers for extended periods of time always helps my husband and I grow closer.”
No. We don’t speak of those things.
Everyone fails to mention that you will have moments where you feel like this is too hard, and you will never get a break. That wouldn’t be nice of them, would it? Well, I’m telling you- if you haven’t already, you will, and that’s okay.
Being a parent is the hardest, most amazing, rewarding, deeply gratifying and difficult thing I have ever done in my life. (And I used to teach middle school, so that tells ya something!)
Turning little people into competent, respectful, God-fearing adults is hard work, and while most of the moms I know fully embrace this role, they soon realize that they are not “just a mom.” Somewhere between blobby baby photos and that one year cake smashing, you became a mom. What you probably didn’t think about was that you were still you.
You still need time for yourself. You still need date nights with your husband. You still need to be told you are doing a good job, that you are beautiful, that what you do matters. Being a mom is fulfilling, but it’s not enough. You still have a purpose, and you want to know you’re fulfilling it. You are still the woman you always were; only now, you are a mom too. Some people don’t understand that. They say things like, “But didn’t you want to be a stay at home mom? Why do you need a break?” That’s like saying, “Didn’t you sign up to run that marathon? Why are you sore afterward?” Really, people?
Yes, we wanted to be moms, but wanting doesn’t make it any easier. Wanting it doesn’t mean you don’t want other things too. Wanting to be a mom doesn’t mean you become a selfless superwoman with your baby’s first cry. Don’t be ashamed of that. Be you- all parts of you. Be the “you” who needs a break, and the "you" who can go 24 hours without sleep and still run a meeting. Be the “you” who loves her work, and the “you” who loves her kids. Be the “you” who cries over dog food commercials, and the “you” who is the family’s lynchpin. Be the “you” who asks for help, who relies on friends, and says, “No” because she can’t do it all. Be the “you” who is a good friend, a great sister, and a loving wife. Be the fearfully and wonderfully made woman God created you to be. (Psalm 139:14)
Be that woman because no one else can, and you are not “just a mom.”